


Not Till 80

by Midnight_Sunrise_63



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Afterlife, And very fluffy in between the angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Its happy at the end!, M/M, Sick Fic, Small cell lung cancer, Takeda can't keep it hidden forever, Ukai is trying his best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28666308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnight_Sunrise_63/pseuds/Midnight_Sunrise_63
Summary: Takeda contracts small cell lung cancer because of an accident involving a fire caused by a lit cigarette bud.
Relationships: Takeda Ittetsu/Ukai Keishin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Not Till 80

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy my first story on AO3! Happy birthday, Takeda!

The atmosphere around him was so loud he thought his eardrums were about to burst. The thick smoke started to curl about his ankles, slowly rising to engulf him whole. Flames licked at the door, begging to enter and claim Takeda as its prize. 

“Calmly, go through the emergency exit! Don’t push!” a woman’s voice instructed over the cries of the throng of people in the overheating room. 

Takeda felt an elbow shove into his ribcage, causing him to gasp in pain, and inhale some of the deadly fog seeping through the crack of the door behind him. He obscured his mouth and nose with his shirt collar and squinted his eyes. The crowd was slowly streaming out of the hazy room.

The teacher was close to one of the last ones out, mostly due to the fact that he was easily pushed aside, deemed a lesser human being than the others in the room. 

Just as he was about to exit the range of flames, he caught a whiff of something vaguely familiar. However, it was gone before he could place his finger on it. 

“Take!” a voice screamed his name from outside the burning building. “Take, where are you?!”

The woman who tried keeping the people calm helped Takeda outside, to which he was immediately wrapped in a tight embrace. “Take, I was so worried! Are you hurt? Burned? Anything?”

Takeda smiled kindly as he fingered through the familiar locks of golden hair. “No, Ukai-kun. I’m fine. And I’ll be fine, don’t you worry!”

He felt a wave of relief from the man holding him so dear. “Thank god… I heard someone had started a fire, then saw it on the news, and I-” he broke off to smother Takeda’s cheeks with small pecks. “I was so worried, Take.”

Takeda giggled, then was beckoned to an ambulance by a police officer. “I have to get checked, Ukai-kun. Then we can go home, okay?”

“Y-yes! Yes, you need to get checked,” Ukai gently caressed Takeda’s dusty features, then patted his shoulder softly. “I’ll be waiting.”

“And I’ll be there soon, Ukai-kun.”

As Takeda began to walk away, he realized why the odor inside smelled so familiar.  _ No… please no… _ He quickened his pace to the ambulance. He sat on the step of the ambulance, and the EMT proceeded to poke and prod at Takeda’s body, searching for any signs of injury.

“Sir, this fire was caused by a lit cigarette bud. Do you have any history of lung issues?” the EMT asked, and Takeda went pale as a ghost. 

_ No… please don’t let it be true! _ He nodded hesitantly. “I-I have asthma.”

“Sir, you may have to come to the hospital for some testing,” she looked at him with a worried glance. “As soon as possible.”

“I s-see. I just have to tell Ukai-kun…” Takeda’s eyes widened. “Miss, could it wait a day?”

“Oh? Is there something the matter, sir?” she cocked her head to the side.

“Ah, um,” he stumbled over his words. “If nothing is wrong, I don’t want Ukai-kun to worry more. So if I go tomorrow, he won’t have to know!” He tried to sound cheerful, but his fear overtook his body and he started to shake.  _ He won’t have to know… _

“I understand. Come by as soon as possible tomorrow. You are at a high risk of lung cancer as of right now,” she sighed. “You don’t have any other injuries, so you are free to go, sir. But first, let me get your name so I can inform the hospital about your arrival.”

“Yes, my name is Takeda Ittetsu, and t-thank you,” he slid off the step as the EMT etched his name onto her clipboard. He craned his neck to locate Ukai. He cleaned up his expression once he spotted the volleyball coach, then took to jogging over. “Ukai-kun!” he called happily.

“No injuries, Take?” Ukai reached his arm out and Takeda gladly took it with his own. 

“I’m as healthy as ever!” he chirped as he adjusted his glasses with one hand. “Home?”

“Yes, Take. We’re going home now,” Ukai’s lips quirked into a smile. 

Takeda cuddled into Ukai’s side, feeling comfortable, yet silently cringed at the reminder of cigarette smoke on Ukai’s jacket. “I’m sorry I worried you, Ukai-kun.”

“Don’t be sorry, none of this was your fault. I just want to know who started that fire so I can throw a few hands at ‘em for putting you in danger like that,” Ukai cracked his knuckles, his facial features darkening with deep hatred.

“Ukai-kun, no,” Takeda tugged on the taller man’s sleeve. 

“Ukai-kun, yes!” he flashed a cheeky grin down to Takeda, who landed a punch on his shoulder. “Ow, Take! So strong!”

Takeda was about to retort, but he broke into a violent coughing fit. Ukai swiftly dropped his smile and started walking faster. “Come on, you need water. We’re almost to my car.”

Takeda tried to nod through the coughs, but couldn’t manage. He noticed the familiar buggy idling less than a block away. “You… left the car on?” he questioned between lung-jerking hacks.

“I panicked,” he sped forward, dragging Takeda along with him. “Get in,” he opened the passenger seat door, revealing the entrance to Takeda.

He climbed inside, buckling his seatbelt into place. “Ukai-kun, don’t speed,” he whispered as Ukai slammed the driver’s seat shut. “I’ll be… fine…” he closed his eyes and trailed off.

“Specs! Stay awake!” 

That was the last thing he heard before falling unconscious. 

As Takeda awoke, the familiar scent of Ukai filled his nose. He inhaled deeply, instantly calmed. “Ukai-kun?” his voice croaked hoarsely. 

“Ah, Specs! You’re awake,” the man pinched Takeda’s cheek affectionately. “Water and a shower?”

“Yes, please,” he shifted his legs over the side of the bed, pulling the blanket off in the process. He reached his hands up as Ukai placed a glass cup into them gently. “Thank you, Ukai-kun,” he said as he began to drink. “How long was I asleep?”

“Just about an hour or two. Are you hungry? I can make you something while you shower,” he suggested.

“No, stay with me. I don’t want to be alone in case I pass out again,” he finished off the water and landed the cup on the nightstand.

“Understandable. Also, Specs,” he folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the windowsill.

“Yes, Ukai-kun?” Takeda looked up into his eyes.

“Are you going to call in sick tomorrow? Because I can stay with you and take care of you,” Ukai fumbled with his sleeve.

“No, I’m not calling in sick. And don’t worry about watching over me tomorrow, I just need some rest and I’ll be fine!” He stood and made for the dresser to pick out some fresh clothes. He settled on some of Ukai’s clothes, a large red short-sleeved shirt and a pair of oversized, black shorts. “Coming?”

“Ah- um-” he stammered, face crimson as he fantasized about Takeda in his clothes. “Y-yes. I’m coming.”

Takeda prepared the water, cranking the nozzle so it was just right, not too warm and not too cold. He started to undress as Ukai walked in, closing the door behind him. The teacher walked by him, placing his glasses on the counter and planting a teasing kiss on Ukai’s shoulder.

Ukai watched as Takeda disappeared behind the shower curtain, and he bit his lip, trying yet failing to contain himself. He, soon, finished undressing and stepped under the comforting pitter patter of water. He looked down and saw Takeda scowling at him. 

“Ukai-kun, you’re blocking the water,” he pouted his lip. 

The taller man snickered, not moving an inch. “I’m sorry, Ittetsu.” He was about to make a few more sarcastic comments, but Takeda silenced him with one single glare. He stepped to the side, then around Takeda so the shorter man could have access to the water as well. 

He reached over Takeda’s head to grab their shampoo, pooling some in the palm of his hand, and massaging it into Takeda’s scalp.

“Hahh,” he sighed contently. “That feels nice, Ukai-kun.”

“Want to know-”

“Nope,” he interrupted, knowing exactly what Ukai was insinuating. “Maybe later, Ukai-kun.”

Takeda could feel Ukai’s silent celebration behind him, and he turned around and motioned for Ukai to bend down. The taller man did so, and Takeda took this time to thread his shampooed fingers through Ukai’s hair. “We both have places to be tomorrow, and I want to be able to walk.”

The taller male chuckled, turning his head up to place a loving kiss on Takeda’s lips. “Guess so.”

Takeda fell asleep happy that night, but as soon as morning arrived, everything came rushing back to him all at once.

His eyes slid open, and he stole a glance at the empty bed beside him.  _ Ukai-kun went to work already. Ah, he texted me too.  _

‘Sorry, I had to leave early! There’s breakfast in the fridge for you. I love you!’ Ukai had sent that text with a single heart emoji.

Takeda smiled softly, then remembered where he had to be. He started to stand, but a truck of emotions slammed into him, knocking him back onto the bed and causing him to spontaneously burst into tears. 

He buried his face in the purple blanket beside him, letting it all out. He clutched the pillowcase tightly, then punched the poor pillow beside him. “O-okay, calm down Ittetsu. You don’t know the results yet! You have to get tested first, so maybe th-there’s… a chance,” he muttered these empty words to himself in a poor attempt to give himself hope. “Alright, just calm down, call the hospital, and schedule an appointment. Wipe those tears, you have to be strong, for yourself, for Ukai-kun.”

He shakily stood, dressing his trembling body in simple sweatpants and shirt. He tossed a sweater over the top as he reached to grab his phone. He dialed the local hospital’s number, and held the ringing phone to his ear.

“This is Miyagi Hospital, how may I help you this morning?” a soft female voice answered the call, and Takeda froze before beginning to speak.

“H-hello, my name is Takeda Ittetsu, I was one of the victims of the fire yesterday, and I…” he trailed off.

“Ah yes, I remember one of our EMTs reported back with your name. The earliest time we have available is nine this morning, is that alright?” she asked.

“Yes, that works for me,” he checked his watch. It flashed back with 8:14 am, and Takeda sighed. “What branch should I arrive at?”

“The Urgent Care branch, but depending on the results, you may need to be moved,” she replied. 

“Ah, thank you.”

“Of course, sir. We will see you here.”

“Yeah,” Takeda heard the beep signalling the call had ended, but his hand was caught in place. He felt like a sand-ridden puppet; his joints wouldn’t, or couldn’t, move. The phone slipped from his hand, landing on the plush bed beside him. “I have to call work, I’ll be in late…”

He picked up the device once more, only to see another text from Ukai. 

‘You awake yet, Specs? Well, you do need your beauty sleep. Don’t forget to eat!’

Takeda didn’t know if he had the strength to respond. Honestly, he didn’t know if he had the strength for anything now that he knows there’s a possibility…

_ NO! Get that thought OUT of your head! You’re going to be fine, fine fine fine… everything is fine! _ He clutched his now-pounding head, then his hands shifted to cover his teary eyes. “You’re overreacting, Ittetsu! It’s gonna be okay.”

He pulled up the principal's contact on his phone and pressed the call button. 

“Takeda-sensei! You’re late, is there a reason?”

“Ah, yes. I have an appointment today at nine, and it was kinda sudden so I apologize for not informing you sooner,” Takeda bunched his shirt up in his fist, trying not to burst into tears again.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes, everything is fine. Just an appointment! I’ll be at school, maybe around lunch?”

“If you say so. Have a nice morning, Takeda-sensei.”

“You too,” he hung up and started out of the room. Just before he exited through the doorway, he inhaled a few deep breaths. “When I leave this room, I am leaving behind all my worry, and stepping into hope, okay? I’m going to be okay!”

He forced a smile on his face and took a single step out of the bedroom. He walked down the hallway and into the kitchen, and this time, his smile was real. He saw a note taped on the fridge, clearly Ukai’s handwriting.

‘I made pancakes for you, Specs! Have as many as you want :3’

“Ukai-kun, always looking to make me happy,” Takeda pulled the fridge open and grabbed the foil package of pancakes, selecting two and placing them in the toaster. 

Once they popped up, Takeda slathered some butter on, as well as some syrup. He checked his watch again.  _ Eight twenty two, I’ll just have to eat quickly and leave right away. Who knows what traffic is like… _

He quickly finished eating and washed his hands, hopping in his car once he grabbed his keys and stepped outside. The road was, surprisingly, pretty empty, save a few cars here or there. Takeda had a smooth ride to the hospital. He reached said hospital early, spare ten minutes.

He just decided to check in, wanting to get his results back as soon as possible. He found the front desk rather easily, and he exhaled the breath trapped in his throat. “Hello, I’m here for my nine o’clock appointment,” Takeda said meekly as he found his way to the desk.

“Your name, sir?”

“Takeda Ittetsu.”

“Ah, Takeda-san, you’re a bit early. Not that it’s bad. Come along, we’ll get you situated right now,” she stood, smoothing down her skirt as she walked around the desk.

“Thank you,” he trailed behind her as she led him into a room, nothing more than some chairs and a paper-lined cot. 

“You will have to answer some questions, then get a blood draw, okay?”

“Okay,” he nodded and sat down on one of the chairs. 

“The doctor will be in soon,” she smiled kindly as she exited the room, carefully shutting the heavy door in the process.

Five minutes of silence passed, then the energetic aura of a doctor burst through the door. “Good morning, Mister- ah…” the doctor looked with wide eyes at his clipboard. “Takeda! Good morning! So,” he sat down, face turning serious. “If this paper is correct, you were in the fire yesterday, and you have asthma?”

“Yes, that is correct.” Takeda steadied his hands, trying his hardest not to crack.

“And the police have reported the fire to be caused by a cigarette bud,” he sighed. “How have you been feeling?”

“Tired, and my throat has been sore ever since-” Takeda was violently cut off by a string of coughs, lasting about two or three minutes. He froze and went dead silent when he realized his hands were wet all of a sudden. “Huh…” he stared down at his hands, which were not covered in water, no. His palms were splattered with blood.

The doctor closed his eyes remorsefully, then wrote a few notes on his clipboard. “Shall I get you a glass of water?”

Takeda couldn’t speak. He just managed a single nod, to which the doctor stepped out of the room for a minute, and came back with a small cup of water. The teacher took it after wiping his bloodied hands, taking a quick gulp. 

“Sir, are you alright?”

_ No, no I’m not.  _ Takeda wanted to scream, but his mouth betrayed him with more silence. 

“I’m going to take a blood draw now,” the doctor gently touched Takeda’s shoulder. “Sir?”

“O-okay…” he whispered as he pulled up his sleeve. He averted his eyes as the doctor cleaned the inside of his elbow. He gently squished the patch of flesh with the vein before inserting the needle and extracting a small bottle’s worth of Takeda’s blood. 

“Are you okay, sir?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. When… when will the results get back?”

“Given your current health conditions, it will be put closer to the top of our list, so it could range from a few hours up until tomorrow morning,” he placed a bandage over the prick. 

“Okay, thank you.”

“Have a lovely day, sir.”

“Yeah, you too.” 

Takeda pulled into the school parking lot wearing a blank expression on his pale face. He was about to exit his car, but another coughing fit overtook his body. He covered his mouth desperately, begging for it to all cease and allow him to go back to his normal life. He began to rasp as he tried to steady his breathing, and he looked down at the droplets of blood littering his shaky palms. 

“No matter what… I can’t let anyone know. Especially Ukai-kun, he’d-” Takeda’s voice caught on those words. “He’d blame himself…”

He reached for the moist towelette in his side compartment, wiping his hands clean. “Okay! This is fine! I can get cured, if need be! But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. It won’t! Because I’m… I’m perfectly healthy!”

He stepped out from his car with a smile on his face, pulling his schoolbag out as well, before walking up to the front of the school. “And let’s get this day on the road, Ittetsu!”

He entered his class, giving the substitute a kind grin. “Good afternoon, class! Sorry I’m late! Shall we resume our lesson?”

The school day ended as usual, with no more body rattling coughs, thankfully. Takeda sighed, leaning back in his chair in the teacher’s offices. He looked at a small sticky note, kept on the rim of a vacant coffee mug. “Ah, should go tell the team. They have a practice match in a few days,” he stood, covering up with waver with a stretch. 

He collected his bag, planning on going home after he informed the team of their game. He felt an unscratchable itch build up in the back of his throat, yet he ignored it.  _ Not now, not so close to other people. _ He pressed on through the courtyard, reaching the gym within a few minutes. 

Takeda took in the familiar sounds of volleyballs against the smooth gym floor, as well as Ukai’s commanding voice yelling at the team to keep their receives sharp. However, Takeda smiled, knowing he was really only shouting at Hinata. 

He slid the gym door open just so he could enter, discarding his shoes at the step. “Good news, everyone!” he called, waving a paper around in the air excitedly. 

“Gather ‘round, team!” Ukai clapped his hands twice, taking his rightful place beside the teacher. 

“You guys have a practice game in three days' time, against,” he squinted his eyes at the paper, then recited the name of the school. “I expect everyone to do their best!”

“You know what to do, boys!” Daichi nodded once at the team, and they all bowed at once towards Takeda. “Thank you, sir!”

“Thanks!” they all repeated in perfect unison.

Takeda clasped his hands in front of himself sheepishly. “Just doing my job. Enjoy practice, everyone!”

“Enjoy your night, sir!”

After the boys went back to practicing, Takeda began to take his leave, but Ukai lightly grabbed his wrist to prevent him from leaving. “Is something wrong? You’re going home really early, Take.”

“Ah, I’m just tired, Ukai-kun. Being in a dangerous situation really takes a lot out of you, ya know?” Takeda kissed one of Ukai’s knuckles. “I promise I’m alright, I just need some more rest, okay?”

“If you say so, Specs,” Ukai released his wrist, watching Takeda leave with a slightly disappointed glance. 

Takeda exhaled a sigh of relief once he had reached his car, having held his breath the entire walk there. He checked his phone, then noticed a call from the hospital. His face paled at a certain train of thought, but he tried to toss it aside as he called the hospital back.

“Hello? This is the Miyagi Hospital front desk, how may I direct your call?”

“I received a call from this hospital earlier, but I was at work and couldn’t answer. This is Takeda Ittetsu,” he said as calmly as manageable.

“Oh, Takeda-san. I’ll put you on your previous doctor’s line, please wait a moment.”

“Alright, thank you.”

There was a moment of silence, then Takeda heard a saddened breath. “Takeda-san?”

“Yes, this is him…”

“Sir, you need to come in tomorrow.”

“I-is everything alright?” It was at this moment Takeda knew, but just couldn’t accept. 

“Sir, your tests came back, and by the looks of it, you have…” 

There was a short pause, but it felt like an eternity to Takeda as he swore his heart ceased to beat.

“Small cell lung cancer.”

The phone call ended after another appointment was scheduled, but the call wasn’t the only thing that stopped. Takeda’s phone slipped from his sweaty grasp, and all the emotions he kept hidden inside were released. A flurry of emotions mixed together in the melting pot of the car, and Takeda couldn’t take it. He covered his glassy eyes, praying to whatever god there was that this was all just a dream.

He rested his forehead on the steering wheel, taking in large gasps of air as he hiccuped to himself. “It’ll be okay… I can get cured, right? Right! I’ll get cured!”

He wiped his damp face and composed himself before taking to the road home. The car was silent, save a few hitched breaths every now and again. He pulled into the driveway, shifting his car into park. He slowly stepped from the car, shutting the door softly. He entered the house, passing the kitchen by. He felt hungry, but if he tried to eat anything, he had a feeling he’d just regurgitate it. 

He checked his phone, nothing. Instead of answering his stomach’s pleas for food, Takeda flopped onto the bed he shared with Ukai.

_ Maybe not for too much longer… _ a slimy voice hissed cheerfully inside Takeda’s head, and he broke down once more.

“Shut up!” he screamed, throwing a pillow at the wall. 

_ Why are you mad? I’m right!  _ It spoke again, this time, its presence felt like it was right beside Takeda. 

“I’m m-mad because you  _ are _ right!” After those words were blurted out, Takeda covered his quivering mouth. “N-no! You’re not right, you’re wrong!”

The voice chuckled, clearly satisfied with the damage it inflicted. Takeda tossed his glasses onto the bedside table, but caught a glimpse of the photo he and Ukai took on one of their dates. If Takeda could remember correctly, it was last month.

Ukai had surprised Takeda with a trip to an amusement park. After an hour or two of playing games, going on rides, and consuming park food, Takeda had begged for a picture. Ukai, who could never resist Takeda’s puppy eyes, agreed. 

So, they took a picture near the entrance of the park. Takeda was grinning, holding up a peace sign at the camera whilst Ukai, well… Ukai had stolen a kiss from Takeda’s cheek at the last possible moment. 

This picture was something Takeda would treasure forever, because he could always feel the love and compassion radiating from Ukai’s frozen features. Normally, this picture would bring happiness to Takeda, but this night, it brought him only sorrow and remorse. He had no idea what the future had in store for him, and frankly, he didn’t know if he wanted to find out.

Just before Takeda fell under the alluring spell of slumber, he noticed an idea begin to smolder in his mind. He pulled his phone off the nightstand, as well as his tablet. He searched for the correct song, and when he finally found it on his playlist, he had to bite his lip. He didn’t want to cry, all he wanted to do was sing.

He gave a ghost of a smile as he clicked his camera app on his tablet. Takeda adjusted the camera so his face was visible and began recording once he was satisfied with the position. He turned the volume up on his phone and pressed the play button. 

“Wise men say…” his voice covered over the soft female vocals of the song, and he bowed his head as he continued. “Only fools rush in.”

He looked directly at the camera, small tears forming and falling from his misty eyes. “But I can’t help… falling in love with you.”

Takeda smiled brightly at the camera, continuing to sing through his tears. “Shall I stay? Would it be a sin… if I can’t help falling in love with you?”

His voice was on the brink of cracking, and his emotional barrier was collapsing. But, he stayed strong and persisted on through the song. “Like a river flows, surely to the sea. Darling, so it goes, some things… are meant to be.”

As he pushed down the storm of coughs approaching, Takeda wiped his tears and adjusted his glasses. “Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can’t help… falling in love with you. Oh, like a river flows! Surely to the sea, darling, so it goes some things… are meant to be! Oh, take my hand. Take my whole life too!” He hardly contained a hiccup and ignored the crushing weight in his lungs. “For I can’t help… falling in love with you.

“Oh, I can’t help falling in love with you…” He forged strong eye contact before breaking into a terrible coughing attack. After a few minutes, he chuckled. “I’m sorry, Ukai-kun. I got blood on your mattress,” he shrugged, looking at the camera. 

“I honestly hope you don’t see this. I hope you don’t have to… it was just an idea I had because I’ve always wanted to sing this to you. Now that this has happened… Ha! I’m talking like I’m dying. Which, I also hope won’t happen. Anyway! This song just makes me think of you so much, it hurts. Or, that pain could be the terrible sensation in my lungs! But it’s not like it matters. I’m going to the doctor tomorrow to figure out exactly what is wrong with me.

“I have hope, some, at least. But… I have small cell lung cancer, and it’s a little less common. Because of my asthma and this small cell lung cancer, I honestly don’t know what can be done.

“And I’m so pissed off!”

His emotional barrier snapped, sending his tears waterfalling down his contorted expression. “I don’t w-want to leave, you kn-know?”

Takeda covered his eyes after tossing his glasses onto the pillow. “I don’t want to leave you, I don’t want to leave the team, my class, I just-

“But, we’ll get the results tomorrow, you know? So I don’t really know why I’m reacting like this. I have no idea what’s gonna happen, I guess that’s why. But, who knows, Ukai-kun? I could be cured!

“I’m sorry, I should end this video now. I don’t want you to see this…” He inhaled deeply even though his lungs screamed in retaliation. He could feel his features pinch, shifting to show he was in pain. “I love you, Ukai-kun. I really do…”

He stopped the video and rested his pounding head on the soft pillow.  _ Shit! I need to clean this up before I sleep!  _ He jerked up, quickly cleaning up his mess. 

“Wait… how do I hide the blood?” he panicked, then an idea slapped him in the face. He scrambled to the bathroom, finding a band-aid and wrapping it around his finger. “There! It’s a papercut now!”

After everything was spruced up and back into the correct position, Takeda closed his eyes to sleep.

“Takeda-san, please have a seat,” the doctor gestured to the vacant chair in front of him, and Takeda sat down, hands neatly folded in his lap. “We’ve studied your situation for hours, and due to your circumstances…”

The doctor sighed, averting his eyes from Takeda’s now-trembling body. “You’re incurable.”

The world froze. Takeda covered his mouth, eyes wide as he felt the pit in his stomach double. “O-oh…”

“Without any treatment, you’ll live between four and five more months. But, we have a few things we could try… then the most you’ll live for is six to eight more months,” the doctor handed his clipboard to Takeda. “But I’m afraid this is all we can do for you.”

Takeda tried to study the options he had, but his vision was cloudy with tears, and he closed his eyes roughly. “A-a-and there’s no-nothing else you can d-do?”

“I’m sorry, Takeda-san. Chemotherapy and immunotherapy are options, but they’re expensive. I also have a few more questions for you, so I can prescribe some medicine to ease the pain,” he knitted his hands together. “How have your lungs been feeling?”

Takeda wiped his eyes with twitching hands. “Painful. It gets hard to breathe when I feel coughs coming. But I’m guessing this is just the beginning of it all…” he added under his uneven breath. 

“There is some medicine that can help: Mucinex and Robitussin, both for chest congestion. It may help ease it a bit, so I suggest those. Also, just try other things such as throat lozenges after a coughing fit. I’ve also come to see that humidifiers work to soothe an aching throat,” the doctor jotted down a few notes on a sheet of paper before passing it to Takeda. 

“I un-understand.” 

“Takeda-san, would you consider chemotherapy or immunotherapy?”

“I-I’m not sure, I just don’t know if I have enough money for things like that,” he sighed, fiddling with his thumbs. “Besides, how many rounds of chemotherapy would I need?”

“Four to six… for a time period of three to six months,” he was hesitant to answer, and once he saw the look in Takeda’s eyes, he felt a large wave of remorse crash over his head.

“See? I wouldn’t even have enough time,” his shoulders began to quiver. “I’ll get the medicine for my cough, but if there’s nothing else, Doctor, may I go?”

“Let me prescribe you first, then you may pick up the medicine from the front desk,” he stood.

“Thank you.”

_ Stay strong, you can’t break down on the road. Just wait until you get home… _ Takeda gripped the steering wheel as he drove down the road. He stared dead ahead, terrified to let his eyes wander. 

He kept the car silent, no radio, nothing. He could focus on nothing but the road. It was the best he could do to prevent a mental breakdown. 

Takeda gave a relieved exhale as he pulled into the driveway. He grabbed his prescriptions, stomping into the house. He slammed the front door shut before letting out an enraged scream. 

“I’m so stupid!” he yelled, balling his hands in his hair. He picked up the nearest object, which was a glass cup, and threw it at the floor. He heard the shattering of the glass, and he sank to the floor, bursting into tears of hopelessness. He managed to stand and made for the bathroom, hiding his medications in the back of his side of the cabinet. 

He went back to the kitchen, and upon seeing the shattered glass, he felt his heart do the exact same thing. He crouched down, picking up the pieces. His tears mixed with the glass and soon, a few droplets of blood joined the melting pot. He gazed down at his hands, then widened his eyes and threw the glass across the floor again. 

“Dammit!” he cursed. Takeda froze in utter horror as he heard the front door unlock. “No… no no no!” 

“Take! You ho-” Ukai dropped his jacket in shock at the sight of Takeda kneeling and sobbing in front of the shattered cup. “Oh my god, Take! Are you okay? Your hands are cut!” 

Ukai made a beeline for the bathroom, snatching up bandages and neosporin for the cuts. “Ah, shit… you got a few shards in your hands. Hold still, I’ll get them out, Take,” he found the tweezers with a relieved shout.

Takeda held his hands up for Ukai to medicate. He winced whenever Ukai pinched the glass from his palms. “Shh, shh, it’s okay.”

Once his hands were all wrapped up, Takeda threw his arms around Ukai and sobbed into his shoulder. “Take? What’s wrong? Did something happen besides the cup?”

“I-I’m sorry!” he cried and Ukai pulled him into his lap. 

“Shh, you can tell me anything, Take. You know that. Just let it out for now, you don’t have to talk. And I understand if you can’t tell me right now. I’m always gonna be here for you,” he whispered these sweet words into Takeda’s ear as he held him close.

He bit his lip, tightening his grip on Ukai.  _ How am I supposed to hide this from him… I don’t know if I’ll be able to for long… Ukai-kun, I’m scared! _

Takeda stayed in bed the next morning. He didn’t have the strength, nor the willpower, to face the day ahead. He took his meds after an attack, but went right back to bed. The thoughts circled around him, crashing down like ocean waves.

_ Four to five months. Four to five months. Four to five months, then I die. _

He closed his eyes softly, a small tear escaping as he laid doormat under the covers. Ukai hadn’t asked what was upsetting him and Takeda was thankful. He didn’t think he could face Ukai at a time like this. The only words he spoke that morning were to the principal, explaining he won’t be coming to school that day. 

Then he was mute for the next three hours. The moment he broke the silence was when the truth sank in. “I’m going to die.”

He covered his eyes with his forearm, a weak chuckle burbling from his throat. “Well… what am I going to do? Ukai-kun is going to find out eventually, and he won’t be prepared…

“I could,” he reached one hand towards his tablet. “Record another video for him. Yeah, I’ll do that until he gets home. But knowing him, he’d never look at my tablet, so I should leave a note for him on my phone.”

He picked up his phone with his bandaged hands, creating a quick instruction video for Ukai to watch when the worst comes to pass. 

“Ukai-kun! I uh…” Takeda tried to smile, but the frown came first. “You’re watching this video because I’m… I’ve… I’ve passed on. I wanted to tell you that there is something special for you. Check my tablet’s camera roll, and please. Don’t cry too much. I know you’re sad right now, but just know that it’s okay. Just watch the videos on my tablet.”

He ended the instructional film, and started the camera on his tablet. “Ukai-kun, I love you,” he started with a tiny flicker of a smile. 

“I really do. And I’m so sorry.” 

“Hey, Specs, want to go out for dinner tonight?” Ukai asked, looking up from his phone for the first time in an hour.

“Oh, sure! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Takeda smiled kindly. “What were you thinking of?”

“Dunno. What are you in the mood for?” he scooched across the couch and pulled Takeda onto his lap, browsing the map on his phone. 

“Hmm… oh! What about the sushi house over here,” Takeda scrolled along the map until he found the restaurant he was thinking of. He clicked on it and Ukai gave a nod of approval.

“It’s settled, then. Leave after we shower?” he suggested.

“Yeah,” he nodded once, hanging his arms around Ukai’s neck and leaning into his chest. “But let’s stay here for a bit, yeah? I’m comfy.”

“Alright, Specs. Thirty minute cuddle session?” Ukai kissed the top of Takeda’s head softly.

_ He’s so warm… _ Takeda sank deeper into Ukai’s hold, sighing happily. “Yeah, thirty minute cuddle session…”

That thirty minutes became forty-five, then an hour, before finally ending at an hour and a half. Takeda yawned and rubbed his eyes, pushing himself up from Ukai and adjusting his glasses. “Oh? Sorry, Ukai-kun! I guess I was so comfortable I fell asleep!” he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly while Ukai smothered his blushing cheeks with butterfly kisses. 

“Aww, don’t be sorry. You were adorable, Specs.”

He averted his gaze from him, his mouth forming the smile that made Ukai fall in love with him. It was an embarrassed smile, crooked and bashful. However, it made Ukai swoon all over again. “S-stop it…” he pouted his lip, and that gave the volleyball coach a chance to steal a kiss, which he did and did so successfully. 

“Showertime, Specs?” Ukai whispered lovingly in Takeda’s ear, and he received a nod. “Alright.” He stood, scooping the teacher up into his arms and carrying him like a princess into the bedroom. 

“I’ll start the water, can you pick out some clothes for yourself and I?” Takeda swung his legs over Ukai’s arm, softly padding onto the floor and making for the bathroom. 

“Casual, fancy casual, fancy?”

“I mean, it’s just a sushi restaurant so fancy casual, I guess,” Takeda called from the tub, leaning over to adjust the nozzle. Once satisfied with the temperature, he removed his glasses, placing them neatly behind the sink. 

He was in the process of removing his shirt when Ukai entered, setting the folded clothes on the counter and shutting the door, flipping the fan on as well. They stepped into the shower and Takeda tugged the curtain closed. He felt Ukai’s hands land on his waist ghostly, almost hesitantly. Takeda closed his eyes softly at the touch, then turned and looked up right into Ukai’s koffee brown eyes. 

“You know… why don’t we just order take-out instead?” Takeda whispered, his arms snaking up Ukai’s chest before finding their place around his neck. 

“Mhm, good idea,” Ukai muttered breathlessly as he captured Takeda’s lips in a tender embrace. 

He raised his grip into Ukai’s hair, clenching his fists ever so slightly. They stood there for a good five minutes, only taking small breaths when they felt the need. Takeda broke the string of kisses as he reached around Ukai for the shampoo bottle, washing the coach’s hair like usual before taking his turn of getting his hair washed.

After rinsing the soap off their bodies, Takeda turned the water off and pulled the curtain back, grabbing towels from the rack on the wall. He passed one to Ukai before wrapping his own around his waist. 

“Sushi and cuddles now?” he looked up at Ukai with his signature move: puppy-dog eyes.

“Sushi and cuddles.”

After they had dressed and exited the bathroom, Ukai went into the kitchen to order their sushi and ask for it to be delivered. Takeda sat on the floor beside the bed, planning on disguising his upcoming coughs as choking on a drink of water.

He held back until the coughs broke through, and he quickly grabbed the glass of water beside him, choking and sputtering as if the water had caused his pain. Ukai poked his head into the room, concern in his eyes, but no words spoken as he was still on the phone.

Takeda gestured to the glass in his hand, flashing a small thumbs up as he cleared his throat. Ukai shrugged, going back to ordering their food in the living room. Thankfully, no blood was shed during this attack, so Takeda just popped a throat lozenge into his mouth and sucked on it between the roof of his mouth and tongue. 

Ukai came back into the bedroom, sitting down beside Takeda and pulling the other man onto his lap. “You sure you’re alright? That was pretty violent.”

“Ah, I’m fine,” he waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it, Ukai-kun.”

He wrapped his legs around Ukai’s waist, leaning his weary head on the taller man’s collarbone. “When will the sushi be here?”

“Give it about forty-five minutes, Specs,” he kissed the top of Takeda’s head, burying his nose in the soft locks of unruly brown hair. 

“Alright, another nap for me then,” Takeda yawned, closing his eyes and discarding his glasses onto the bed. He drifted off comfortably and quietly, feeling the gentle stroke of Ukai’s fingers against his spine. 

As Takeda slept, Ukai scrolled through his gallery on his phone. This gallery was special, however. It was an album of just Takeda. Stolen photographs of his lover eating, smiling, sleeping, anything Ukai could think of, he had a photo. 

He checked the time, making an “oh?” face once he realized he had been staring at the same picture for the last twenty minutes.  _ Guess I spaced out, huh? _ He said to himself. He gazed at the picture again. It was one of Takeda sleeping, but the glare of the sunlight reflecting off the camera made it seem like Takeda had a halo over his head. Ukai adored this picture, having quickly saved it as his lock screen after taking it. 

The doorbell rang, and he shifted Takeda so he could pick him up and rest his sleep-ridden body in the comfort of their bed. He made for the front door, opening the door and collecting their meal from the delivery man, not forgetting to give the man a tip of course. 

“Take,” Ukai stole a tender kiss from the sleeping man’s lips, waking him within a few moments.

“Mnn… Ukai-kun? Dinnertime?” he muttered as he sat up and rubbed his tired eyes.

“Yes, so now we can have sushi and cuddle some more,” Ukai unfolded a small lap table, placing it in front of himself and patted his lap.

The other male crawled from the bed, sitting criss-cross in Ukai’s lap and leaning back with a content smile. “Movie?”

“What movie?”

“Titanic, that really good one with Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet,” Takeda suggested, pulling his chopsticks apart with a quiet, “Thank you for the food.”

“Aww, but last time we watched it, you cried!” Ukai grabbed the television remote, flipping the TV, which had claimed a perch on the dresser, on.

“I know, but I really like it!” Takeda pouted his lip. “Besides, cuddling with you makes it not as sad because I know you’re with me!”

Ukai raised one hand in defeat. “Ah, you win. We’ll watch Titanic.”

Throughout the movie, the couple took turns feeding each other sushi, may it be pieces of their own dish or the other’s. They laughed together at the stupidity of a few nameless people, covered each other’s eyes at ‘that one nameless scene’, and Ukai comforted Takeda where the shorter man started to tear up. 

Ukai thought it was just from the movie, but Takeda knew that there was a deeper meaning to all of his emotions. He knew what the inevitable was. He knew, and he cried when Jack let go, because he knew he would do the exact same thing, leaving Ukai just how Jack left Rose. 

It was at the moment where Rose ended her story when Takeda decided what his last words were going to be. 

“Hey Specs, are you sure you’re doing okay? You look a lot thinner than last month,” Ukai slid across the back of the couch, plopping down beside Takeda with a worried glance on his face.

_ Ah, shit! I forgot weight loss was a symptom… _ “No, I’m fine. I guess I just haven’t been eating as much recently,” Takeda forced the lie through his teeth.  _ It’s been a month since my diagnosis, but I’ve lost about seven or so pounds. This isn’t good… _

“Specs, why didn’t you just say so? I can go pick up some food for you if you feel like you’re not eating enough. Just text me what you want and I’ll buy it for you,” Ukai sighed, scooting close and pulling Takeda’s petite body into his lap.

“No, Ukai-kun. I’ll be fine,” he faked a kind smile, but Ukai could see through it like seran wrap.

“Ittetsu.”

There was no falter in his voice, just pure stern. Takeda swallowed the small lump in his throat, then closed his eyes in defeat. “Okay, I’ll text you.”

“Mh hm, ‘kay. I’ll be back soon,” he stole a peck from Takeda’s forehead before standing from the couch abruptly and leaving the house silent.

_ Close. Too close. _ Takeda placed a hand over his stuttering heart. “It’s okay…”

He entered their bathroom after texting Ukai, curling over the sink as the third wave of coughs rushed through him. Blood spat from his mouth, contaminating the porcelain sink with its cursed color. He pressed two fingers to his temple, trying to ignore the dull yet fuzzy sensation in his head. “I should just lay down, drink some water, and wait for Ukai-kun.”

And he did just that. Laying down to rest his senseless head on the cloud-soft pillow. He positioned his glasses on the nightstand, rolling over and closing his eyes.  _ Four more months, Ittetsu. Four more months… you have to tell him, you know? He has to know before then. _

“I know, but I don’t have the strength to tell him. I don’t think I ever will.”

After those words, Takeda fell under a restless session of sleep, tossing and turning in anxious fits. He was asleep, yet he felt wide awake, staring into the infinite pit of darkness that lay just before his closed eyes. 

He couldn’t escape, not by punching, kicking, screaming, or any sort of struggle. He was eternally trapped in these bottomless pits of despair, begging for release and gasping for a breath of fresh air. He froze, then spasms of sobs ripped from his lungs, echoing in his empty mind, rushing back to him in large crescendos. In, out. IN, OUT. IN! OUT!

“Get out of my head!” he screamed, but it proved only futile. 

IN! OUT! IN! OUT! Bellowing rushes of his own voice turning poison to his weak ears. He collapsed, and that’s when it all died. All the noise, the pain, everything. All he felt then was warmth, and…  _ What is that I feel on my cheek?  _ His hand reached up, but nothing was there.

“Oh, Takeda!” Ukai’s soothing voice sang sweetly, faintly, as if he were underwater. “Take, wake up! I have a surprise for you!”

“Mphm, what is it?” his voice was muffled by the banket he had yanked over his head, but he soon felt it pull down and a ray of light caught his gaze. He blinked, the image before him fading from fuzzy to partially clear.

“Look!” Ukai pushed on, and Takeda could feel his smile radiating off him. 

His line of vision was dropped from Ukai’s face to a soft-looking bunny plush, fur white as newly-laid snow and nose pink like a springwater rose. Its eyes shone like sapphires, basking in the sunlight of a clear day in June. His jaw hung open in surprise, and he slowly cranked his hands up, taking hold of the bunny by the underarms, gazing at the inscription of “I love you!” along the stomach and chest. The ears flopped back and forth and Takeda felt himself smile like a toddler on Christmas Day. 

He wasted no more time hugging the bunny to his chest, cheek rubbing against the fur. “Thank you, Ukai-kun! It’s so cute! I love it!”

“I’m glad you do, Specs. And don’t you worry, you’ll be getting something waaaay better than this for your birthday. Just hang in there until then, kay?” Ukai wrapped an arm around Takeda’s shoulders, allowing the shorter male to lean into his chest. “I may not know what’s going on with you right now, but know that I will love and support you no matter what. I want you to feel comfortable sharing your problems with me so I can work to fix them. I love you so much, Take. I really do.”

“I love you too, Ukai-kun.”

_ But I don’t have the willpower to tell you yet. _

The cool breeze lightly caressed Takeda’s cheek as he made his way cross the school courtyard. He fixed the crooked glasses with two fingers, pushing them up on the bridge of his nose. He pulled the heavy door open by the divet of the handle, a white plastic bag clutched in his opposite hand. 

“Good evening!” he called chipperly. “I brought meat buns for you all!”

“Takeda-sensei, you didn’t have to do that,” Daichi put a halt on his practice, making kind eye contact with Takeda for a moment.

“Well, I haven’t really been around so I decided that I should make up for my lost time,” he discarded his shoes outside and stepped onto the smooth gym floor.

“Yeah, may we ask why you haven’t come around?” Suga popped his head around Daichi’s broad shoulder.

“Ah, well…” he started hesitantly. “There have just been a lot of things coming up for me.”

“Is everything alright?” Asahi asked, and soon enough, the entire team was crowded around Takeda, passing the meat buns around in their seated circle of volleyball boys.

“Yes, everything is fine.”

His lungs started to lurch in his chest, but this time, Takeda couldn’t find anything to cover up this attack with. To add on to that predicament, there was no delaying it, no escape, no excuse. With all these terrified voices screeching at once in his mind, Takeda had no choice but to surrender. 

Ukai was the first to leap into action at the sight of Takeda keeling over in a series of uncontrollable coughs. The team jumped up from their comfortable spots on the ground, and without a word, Daichi bolted from the gym, his location of interest being the club room. That’s when Hinata, Kageyama, Yamaguchi, Nishinoya, and Tanaka began to panic. Whilst the panic continued, Tsukishima, the rest of the second years, and the remaining third years ran from place to place in the gym, grabbing items such as water bottles and towels for Takeda.

The teacher tried to jerk Ukai’s hands off him, but the only thing shaking was his balance. Ukai forced Takeda to sit, supporting his collapsing body as the coughs came to a close, blood spattered on his palms. 

Daichi ran back inside, phone up to his ear. “Yes, Karasuno High School, second gymnasium. Yes, thank you.” He looked back at the team. “Everyone, calm down! An ambulance is on the way.”

“No! No, I-I’m fine! Really, I am!” Takeda shook his hands, but that was when the team saw the blood he was trying so desperately to hide.

“Take,” Ukai’s quivering voice caused Takeda to freeze up, guilt welling up in his heart and a sour feeling overtaking his stomach. “Take, what is this?” 

Silence. Agonizing silence. Nothing came out when Takeda opened his mouth. After a few more moments of the awful quiet, there were only two words Takeda could manage. “I’m sorry…” 

The sirens grew louder as the distance between the ambulance and the gym shrank at a considerable rate. “I’m so sorry,” he croaked, leaning into Ukai’s chest. “I’m sorry.” he kept repeating the phrase until the sound of slamming doors joined the sirens. Once Ukai looked from the door back to Takeda, the thin man was unconscious. 

“Step back, we’ll take him from here!” a paramedic ushered the team and Ukai away, pulling a stretcher along behind her. She and the other EMT hoisted Takeda up onto the stretcher, tugging him down and to their ambulance.

This left the entire team dumbfounded, and Ukai… well, he was not taking this well.  _ Is this what has been going on for the past few months? He’s sick? _

Without an answer to his questions, Ukai sought to find those answers. “Everyone, go home. Clean up right now and go home.”

No response, just a few head nods and then the sound of ricketing ball carts and the untying of nets. Ukai watched as the ambulance drove off, Takeda inside. With his head overthinking and heart pounding, the coach set out to find his car and follow the ambulance to the hospital.

The ignored sweat dripping from his brow began to dry, plastering loose strands of hair onto his creased forehead uncomfortably. But it stayed as it was: ignored. He tailed close behind, but not too close. He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel in anticipation. 

As the Miyagi hospital came into view, he saw the ambulance turn into an ‘ambulance only’ parking lot. He cursed, driving down to the next available entrance, finding a quick parking spot, and marching into the hospital. 

“Sir, how may I help you?” the woman at the front desk asked calmly, stacked a few sheets of paper nicely. 

“Have you gotten any patients recently with the name Takeda Ittetsu?” his body was shaking discreetly, but the woman took notice.

“What is your relationship to Takeda-san?”

“I’m his romantic partner, a-and if he’s been here, I’d probably be on the emergency contact list. My name is Ukai Keishin.”

“Oh, he does have you listed.”

“So he’s been here before?” Ukai’s heart began to pound, loudly, right into his ear.

“Yes. I’m sure he would have told you if you were on his emergency contact list,” she sighed, shaking her head a few times. “I just received a message that he has been brought in. I’m afraid you’ll have to wait a few hours in order for him to get properly admitted and situated.”

“I’m fine with waiting but I just need to know what is wrong with him,” he was beginning to get impatient, but immediately calmed himself.

“I’d rather have Takeda-san tell you, I’m in no position to speak of his condition. There is a waiting room right down the hall, so you may stay in there until Takeda-san is ready to have visitors,” she gestured to the right of the front desk, and Ukai nodded a thank you and followed to where her gaze had pointed. 

_ Why didn’t he tell me he was sick? Or is there some deeper meaning behind all this? I hope he’s okay… _

“Takeda-san, if you’re ready,” a nurse began, peeking her head into the room. “You have a visitor.”

“Oh? It’s okay, go ahead and bring them in,” Takeda waved his hand to her in approval.

“Alright, sir, come on inside,” she nodded once to the person just out of Takeda’s range of vision.

Once the visitor took a few steps into the room, Takeda diverted his eyes to his hands. “Ah, Ukai-kun. So this is where you find out the truth.”

Ukai closed his eyes mostly, only using the small crack to see where his feet were taking him. He sat down on the chair beside Takeda, then slowly looked up. When Takeda saw his eyes, he felt his heart sink in remorse. “Please… what happened to you?” he whispered, taking Takeda’s hands in his own and squeezing them.

“Ukai-kun, do you remember that fire from a few months ago?” he shifted his body so he could caress Ukai’s glistening cheek. 

“Y-yeah. But wh- no. Are you saying-”

“I inhaled some smoke, and because of my asthma, I contracted small cell lung cancer.”

Silence. Then Ukai’s face scrunched up as more tears began streaming from his eyes. “So you’re saying you have lung cancer? You’ve had it for more than three months? That’s why…”

“Yeah, why I’ve been coughing more, and losing weight.”

“Can’t you get cured? I mean… they caught it as soon as back then, so why-”

“Because of everything, my health conditions and the way I obtained this disease…”

The moment of truth, the real and harsh truth. “Ukai-kun, I’m incurable.”

“Incurable..?” his eyes showed how shattered his heart was, and Takeda could even hear the clinking as the pieces plunked onto the floor. 

“Yes, unfortunately.” Takeda reached up and planted a small kiss on Ukai’s creased brow.

“How much lo-longer?” he mustered weakly.

“About a month and a half,” Takeda thread his fingers through Ukai’s tousled hair. 

“But that’s…”

“Yes yes, I know. Right around my birthday,” he sighed, eye drooping at the impending thought. 

“But I have a plan!” Ukai screwed his face up, a small wail escaping his throat.

“I’m sorry it took so long to say something. I guess I just wasn’t strong enough to tell you,” Takeda opened his arms wide, accepting Ukai in a tender embrace as the coach climbed into the hospital bed, cuddling up against the ill-fated man. 

“Take?” Ukai whimpered after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“Yes, Ukai-kun?”

“Please don’t go,” he bunched Takeda’s hospital gown in his trembling fingers. “Please don’t leave me.”

“I’m not going anywhere for now, Ukai-kun. But when the time comes, you’ll have to let me go. I want you to live until you’re older than eighty, Ukai-kun. I’ll wait for you,” Takeda soothingly stroked Ukai’s forearm, hushing him as the man started to sob. “Shh, shh, it’s going to be okay.”

“Take, I don’t want you to go,” he pleaded, glistening rivers sliding down his face and pooling on Takeda’s chest.

“Like I said, I’m not going anywhere yet. We’ll still have some time together before I leave,” he wiped Ukai’s streams with the edge of his sleeve. “Get some sleep, Ukai-kun. I’ll still be here in the morning.”

“Mh h-hm,” he hummed powerlessly as he dug his face deeper into Takeda’s chest.

_ Oh Ukai-kun… if only life weren’t so unfair. Then I’d be back at home, your eyes dry and not a single worry in the world. If only… _

“Ukai-kun,” Takeda poked Ukai’s forehead softly before caressing the man’s entire cheek. “Ukai-kun, wake up for me.”

“Mphm,” his quiet reply came, a tiny whimper. “Yeah? Need somethin’?” He sat up, rubbing his puffy eyes. Once those eyes opened, Takeda could see reality strike his heart. “Oh, right. We’re not at home.”

Takeda fought the threat of upcoming tears at the utter despair in Ukai’s tone. “The doctor came in while you were sleeping, and since I only have about a month and a half left, he said I should bring some things here so I’m more comfortable. They don’t want me going back home so they can keep an eye on my condition.”

“Oh.” Ukai rested his head over Takeda’s heart. “I can understand that… and I’m guessing they won’t let you leave so I have to pick things up for you?”

“Mhm. Could you bring me the bunny you gave me? I want to hold it when you’re not here,” he asked, thumbs tracing circles on the back of Ukai’s head.

“Yeah, anything else?” he sat up, scooting off the bed and standing on his own two, very quaky, feet. 

“Our purple blanket. Oh, my tablet and the case for my glasses, please,” Takeda spoke up as Ukai neared the door.

“That’s all?” Takeda nodded. “Okay, I’ll be back soon, I guess.”

Then he left, room filled with sudden and uncomfortable silence. Takeda shifted, reaching across the bed to the table a few feet away from him. He selected his cough medicine and a glass of water, to which he popped the pill into his mouth and took a few small drinks of water. 

He planted his water back on the side table with a small sigh, picking up his phone and starting to scroll around on his news app. A government problem here, a little scuffle between the police and a few thieves in a convenience store there, and a few inconsequential crimes every so often. He closed the app and laid his phone upturned on his steadily rising and falling chest.

He closed his eyes for just a moment, yet instead of just resting his tired eyes, he found himself under the iron fist of exhaustion, and he did not try to declare freedom.

When Ukai entered the hospital room, he smiled at the sight of Takeda peacefully snoring away. He covered the man with the blanket, tucking the bunny safely into his arms, and retired the pair of black glasses into their case, also making sure to situate his tablet within his reach. Instead of staying by Takeda’s side, Ukai left the hospital once more.

With tears battling against his resolve, Ukai drove home. He couldn’t bear to see Takeda in such a state now that he knew what was happening and what the inevitable was. He cranked the volume of the music up, drowning his thoughts in the words of the song. 

_ “Do you feel the same when I’m away from you?”  _ a male vocalist began to sing softly. _ “Do you know the line that I’d walk for you?” _

Ukai began to recognize the song, and due to his english classes from high school, he remembered and understood the words the man was singing. “We could turn around, or we could give it up. But we’ll take what comes, take what comes.”

_ “Oh, the storm is raging against us now. If you’re afraid of falling-” _

“Then don’t look down…” Ukai pursed his lips together shakily with a strong wave of sadness creeping up behind his composure. However, he let the song continue. 

He kept quiet as the song played, and only joined in during the chorus. “We’re walking the wire, love. We’re walking the wire, love. We’re gonna be higher, up. We’re walking the wire, wire, wire.”

After the song ended, Ukai found himself with two streaks of tears along his cheeks. “Guess this is the part where we’ll take what comes, huh? Just like the song says…”

His house came into view, and he couldn’t be happier yet sadder to see that house. He stumbled in, collapsing on the bed and just let it all out. 

“I should have known something was wrong! H-he wasn’t acting li-like himself and I should have known!” he buried his nose into his pillow, sobbing like a baby. “I’m so stupid and now Take’s gonna… My Take is going to die!”

Squeezing the blanket by his sides, Ukai released a scream that was filled to the brim with all his despair and rage. But mostly, he was enraged at himself. 

The reason he left the hospital instead of waiting for Takeda to wake up was because of this exact thing. He didn’t want Takeda to see him like this. He didn’t want Takeda’s last memories to be of his crying face, which he labeled as a disgusting contortion of emotions, all scrambled and broken like poorly cooked eggs. 

Ukai just didn’t want Takeda to see him look… well, Ukai didn’t want to seem weak. Since the coach was the less emotional partner of the duo, he was the one comforting Takeda. In the entire time they’ve been together, Takeda only had to comfort Ukai once, and that was after their first real game against Seijoh. He had felt like a failure of a coach for not teaching the team enough, for not being there for them enough. Sure, Takeda was upset, but he cast aside his own emotions to make sure Ukai was alright by the end of the night.

That was the only time Ukai had let his emotions get the better of him. Well, the first time, until now. But there was no way he would let Takeda see him this way. He was a complete mess, and all he wanted was for everything to go back to normal. If he could travel back in time to that day, he’d trade absolutely anything to keep Takeda from going to that building.

Someone as innocent and kind as Takeda didn’t deserve any of this, but Ukai could only wish for things to change. It was too late now, and nothing was going to ever be the same again.

After about another hour of beating himself up, Ukai returned to the hospital, immediately taking to Takeda’s side in the bed. Takeda understood Ukai didn’t want to talk, so he just hugged the coach tightly and didn’t let go.

“Hey, Ukai-kun, do you have any of Karasuno’s recent games? I’ve missed watching them play,” Takeda mentioned, taking a small drink from his water bottle.

“Oh, yeah, actually. Uh, I brought our game with Date Tech, but I think that’s it,” Ukai rummaged through his bag, finding the disk within a few moments of searching.

“Ah, perfect! Put it in, put it in!” he chanted, pumping his fists up and down. 

“Alright, Specs,” Ukai chuckled at Takeda’s excitement, slipping the disk into the DVD player and making to sit next to Takeda in bed. He pressed the play button, and the match began.

About twenty minutes into the game, there was a quiet knock on the door. “Takeda-san? You have some visitors for you,” his nurse called kindly.

“Visitors? Send them in! I haven’t seen many people these days,” Takeda paused the match, peeking his head towards the slightly ajar door.

“Alright, come on in, but don’t crowd him.”

“Oh!” Takeda’s face brightened at once. “It’s the team!” He coughed a few times into his elbow, then smiled back at the team. “Merry Christmas, you guys! How’s it been for all of you?”

“Takeda-sensei…” the team stood awkwardly in the doorway, then the third years shuffled in first. 

“Takeda-sensei, how have you been feeling?” Daichi began, standing in the very front of the group.

“Tired, but overall, not so bad! I guess,” he shrugged, but sent a few more powerful hacks into his elbow. “Besides that.”

“Takeda-sensei, are you really leaving..?” Hinata spoke up, voice wavering and proving he was on the brink of tears.

“Oh Hinata…” Takeda pushed himself up, beckoning the team closer to his bedside. “Come on, come closer. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Takeda-sensei, you’re really going to go?” Yamaguchi bit his lip, and Takeda took notice.

“Yes, I’m leaving. But don’t be sad over me, it’ll affect your performance,” Takeda pressed one hand to Hinata’s damp cheek once the boy was close enough, and he used his other hand to wipe away the tears. “Look, I understand this is going to be hard for you-”

“It’s not going to be hard, it’s going to be impossible!” Tsukishima suddenly spoke up, fists shaking by his sides. “You’re part of the team too, Takeda-sensei!”

“Tsukki…” Yamaguchi took the crying blonde into his arms.

“Please. Takeda-sensei, please,” Asahi pressed his forehead to the rail of the bed. 

“Alright, everyone form a line,” Takeda sighed, waving his hand around in the air. “Third years first, then second years, then the first years.”

The team shuffled to do as Takeda requested. The teacher sat up on his knees, adjusting his IV cords comfortably. “Ukai-kun, get in the back of the line too.”

The coach obliged, standing from the bed and stepping to go behind Kageyama. 

“The person in the front of the line, please bend down a little if you are taller,” Takeda reached his arm up, hand forming a karate-chop position. 

Asahi did as Takeda said, bending over and receiving a harsh bonk on the top of his head. “Asahi Azumane, don’t ever change. You’re such a kind-hearted soul, and I’d hate for you to lose that.” Asahi rubbed his head, but nodded and took a side-step.

Next came Suga, and he took the bonk with a small smile on his face. “Sugawara Koushi, you are the only one that keeps this team sane, besides Daichi. Don’t ever let yourself get lost in the insanity.

“Daichi Sawamura. You are such a mature young man. You’re gonna go far in life.

“Kiyoko Shimizu. Stay beautiful, but don’t let people take advantage of you.

“Nishinoya Yuu,” Takeda bonked Nishinoya’s head, then placed a soft hand on his shoulder. “Don’t forget your rolling thunder later on in life.” 

Nishinoya bowed his head, a soft, “Thank you, sensei,” escaping his trembling lips.

“Tanaka Ryunosuke. Don’t harass Kiyoko too much, okay? But I’m expecting you to man-up for her.”

“Y-yes, sensei!” Tanaka covered his eyes with his forearm, titling his head upwards to avoid shedding his tears.

Takeda landed yet another bonk on yet another teenage head. “Ennoshita Chikara, you’re going to make an amazing captain. Keep the rest of these ruffians under control for me, okay?

“Narita Kazuhito, you may be on the sidelines all of our games, don’t let that drag you down. You’re an amazing player, and you’ll find your rhythm soon.” 

“Kinoshita Hisashi, just like Narita, you’re going to do amazing things one day. Go and be great, kay?

“Tsukishima Kei. You’ll see that volleyball isn’t just a club, and you’ll find that it’s more fun than you could ever believe if you work hard and keep winning.

“Yamaguchi Tadashi, keep Tsukishima in check, kay? He only listens to you. Besides that, you’re such an amazing pinch server. You’re progressing so much in such a short time, and I’m so proud.

“Yachi Hitoka, you’re going to be such a wonderful manager. Once you overcome your nerves, you’re going to become such a strong and dependable young woman.

“Hinata Shoyo, you’re going to become the next Tiny Giant and if anyone tells you otherwise, send Kageyama on them will you? He’ll defend you. And don’t ever stop shining, your name means ‘sun’ after all!

“Kageyama Tobio, you’re going to surpass Oikawa, and I just know it. Like I said, defend your sun. You’re going to need him.

“And finally, Ukai Keishin.” Takeda landed one final bonk on the coach’s head. “You’re going to live your life to the fullest, and like I’ve said before, come back to me when you’re older than eighty, okay?”

Takeda placed his hands on his hips, satisfied with his words. “I love you all so much, and I despise the idea of leaving you all. I wish I could find a way to stop this, but sadly, it’s too late for me.”

The room was filled with the quiet sniffles of teenage volleyball players. A few started crying softly, and the rest followed suit. 

“I’m so glad I got to see you all once again, you’re all wonderful people. We all have to say goodbye at some point in our lives. I’m just sorry that my goodbye came so soon.” Takeda sat back against his headboard, closing his eyes softly. “And no, don’t worry. I’m just gonna take a nap.”

“We love you too, Takeda-sensei,” the team chided in unison, making Takeda smile before he slipped asleep comfortably. 

“Thank you guys for coming to see Take,” Ukai whispered as he made to sit beside the sleeping man, gently caressing his soft features. He saw how much weight Takeda had lost, and he shut his eyes as a tear escaped and trekked down his face. 

“Coach?” Hinata squeaked. “Coach, no one can replace Takeda-sensei. What are we gonna do?”

“For once, I don’t know…”

Three days have passed since the team visited Takeda, and the worst was starting to show. The teacher was rapidly losing bodily functions, weakened by the weight loss and ever-so harsh coughing attacks. He couldn’t stand solo, and was losing the ability to speak properly. The day after Christmas came, and that’s when the truth unveiled itself.

“U-Ukai-kun…” Takeda whispered raspily between difficult breaths. “U-Ukai-kun,” he used two fingers to pinch the cloth of Ukai’s sleeve, feeling the soft fabric in his hand. “Ukai-kun, li-listen…”

“I’m here,” Ukai’s voice cracked, and he bit down on his lip to keep from bursting into tears at the sight of his dearly beloved in this state. “Take I’m here,” he grabbed his hands, holding them lax against his chest.

“U-Ukai-kun… after my funeral,” Takeda inhaled, wincing at the sharp pain hammering against his lungs. “Look at my… phone.”

“Your phone? Why?”

“I ha-have some surprises… for you, j-just you,” he muttered, his voice lowering in a ragged decrescendo. 

“For me? Take,” Ukai couldn’t hold them back any longer. “Take please don’t go! I don’t want your surprises, I want you!”

“Oh Ukai-kun,” Takeda raised his arms a few inches, beckoning to Ukai to lay next to him. 

The coach did just that, but made sure his grip was careful and calm, but that was the exact opposite of how he felt inside. “Take please, I-I’m lost without you.”

“Keishin.” He said the name so gently, so tenderly, Ukai was played for a fool when he thought there was an angel embracing him. “Kei… shin,” he began to trail off, but snapped himself back to reality. “Keishin, pl-please don’t cry. And I know you can keep the te-team together without me. I-I was just the advisor, af-after all.”

“Take, don’t say that! You’re irreplaceable! Please, I can’t do this without you!” he pleaded, rubbing his nose into his hospital gown, trying so hard to drink in Takeda’s scent, but it was covered up with the odor of the hospital, dank and musty with the reminisce of medications and illness.

Takeda tried to chuckle, but he couldn’t. It pained him too much to force out even a tinny jostle of laughter. “Ukai-kun… I love you so mu-much.”

“Please don’t go, don’t leave me.”

“Not yet, Ukai-kun. I want to see the New Year first.”

“Not so soon, please Take!”

Takeda tightened his grip as much as he could, kissing the top of Ukai’s head softly. “It’s going to be o-okay, Ukai-kun.”

“No! It won’t be okay! Take, you’re leaving me!”

“But not yet, Ukai-kun.”

January third rolled around, and over the past week or so, Takeda was not getting any better. He had almost fully lost the ability to speak, only able to force out a few simple words such as “Ukai-kun”, “water”, and “food”. He could form full sentences if he tried, but it caused so much strain on his poor lungs that he refrained from speaking more than necessary. 

Takeda had been shakily typing something on his phone for the past five minutes, and he finally showed it to Ukai with the ghost of a smile on his face.

‘The light ahead of me is bright and comforting. It’s there, but not calling me just yet. It’s just laying doormat, patiently waiting so it can escort me safely once it’s time.’

“Take… no. Please not today. Please not a week before your birthday!” Ukai collapsed, sobbing as he hid his face in his hands.

“U… Ukai-k… kun. Do-” he coughed violently, body-jerking hacks that sent him groaning in pain afterwards. “Don’t cr… y.”

Ukai looked up, and upon seeing Takeda’s sweet, sincere smile, he realized what he needed to do. He realized Takeda didn’t want his last memories of Ukai to be of him crying, so as he tried his best, he gave Takeda a smile. Shaky and full of holes, his smile didn’t last too long.

“I understand, Take. I-I’m… I’m going to be here to hold your hand, okay? Don’t be sc-scared.”

“No… t scared,” Takeda reached forward and squeezed Ukai’s twitchy fingers. “You, here. I’m ha-happy.”

“Oh Take, I’m going to miss you so much,” Ukai leaned towards his lover, planting a tear-soaked kiss on his dry, cracked lips. 

“Miss you… too…”

“Take, don’t force yourself to talk, you’re going to use up all your fighting energy,” Ukai stroked the side of Takeda’s face, rubbing his thumb along his cheekbone, which popped out over the lack of fat on his cheeks. 

They sat in comfortable silence for the next few hours, and soon, Takeda’s features began to soften, laxing in ease. “Take?”

“Time…”

“Oh.” Ukai stood, sitting beside Takeda in bed now, and pulling the man into a tender embrace. “Go ahead. I’ll hold you when you g-go.”

“U-Ukai-kun… rem… ember Titanic? I’m J-Jack, yo-you’re Rose. Live. Older than eighty. Meet ag-again… I’ll wa-wait,” Takeda whispered into Ukai’s shoulder. “‘Cause I love you.”

“I love you too, Take. And I look forward to seeing you again.”

And just then, Takeda went limp in Ukai’s hold. The man heard the heart monitor slip from smooth into a flatline, and he released the body and stepped back. “Take, I’ll see you again. I’ll stay alive and return to you, so please just be patient.”

And just like that, Ukai packed up his things and left the hospital, everything bundled up in their purple blanket. He couldn’t feel himself, his body and mind were numb as he mindlessly found his way home. Car parked in the driveway, Ukai entered his house.

“January third, eight twenty five in the evening, my one and only love left me alone. He told me to live until I was older than eighty, and I’m going to do just that. My Take was one of the kindest people I knew, always making sure I was happy and content.

“I’m not going to let his death drag me down. I’ll admit, I was terrified at the thought of being without him, and I still am, but now that I know his final wishes, all I can do is work to achieve what he wanted for me.

“My Take was an angelic man, soft-spoken and caring. He was also strong, so much stronger than me. He kept on smiling even as he breathed his last. He left a trail of light wherever he went, and I couldn’t help but follow along, absorbing as much of his light as humanly possible. I intend to keep the light I was given with me at all times. That is all,” Ukai stepped down from the podium, clad in a slick black suit and tie. 

He passed by Takeda’s open coffin as he made for his seat, and he picked his glasses from his still and colorless face. He sat back down, holding the glasses in his hands kindly, sure not to damage the already-crooked frames.

The service ended, and Ukai kneeled down at Takeda’s newly-placed gravestone. He kissed his pointer and middle fingers then pressed them on the engraving of Takeda’s name. “I promise to you, my dearest Take. I’ll live life like you wanted me to. You’re Jack and I’m Rose, huh? Then do you expect me to start making pottery like that old lady? Who knows. It could be a great pastime.” 

A memory suddenly flashed into Ukai’s mind, and he blinked his tears onto the smooth stone. “Ah, right. I’ll check your phone once I get home,” He stood, hands hiding in the shadows of his pockets. “I’ll see you around, Take.”

Then he left, going to the home where he had wanted to stay in with Take forever. He took in the sights of Takeda’s old belongings. Clothes in the dresser, soap in the shower, random socks strewn around the entire house, and the photos. He stared longingly at each photograph in the house, from the mantle to the bedside table. 

He realized he still has Takeda’s glasses hanging from the front of his shirt. Instead of just keeping them on the highest platform of his bookshelf, he scanned around the room before his eyes found it. The bunny plush, the same one Takeda held so dear when all Ukai did was sit and watch him sleep. There, he decided, would the glasses rest for the rest of his life.

Ukai changed into comfortable clothing, laying his suit on the bed neatly before folding it up and placing it on the bottom dresser drawer. He never wanted to see it again. Takeda’s phone rested upturned on his side of the bed, indenting the pillow. He grabbed for it, pressing the power button and seeing the lock screen wallpaper. 

Of course, it was of himself and Takeda smiling, cheeks pressed together lovingly. He wanted to stop looking, stop seeing the image of his beloved Takeda, but he couldn’t bring himself to unlock the phone. He stared at the picture until the screen blackened, then Ukai shook himself out of his trance. 

He turned the phone back on, entering the password quickly so he wouldn’t get distracted by the wallpaper. However, he had no idea what lied in store for him. He checked Takeda’s gallery, immediately finding the video he was sent to unveil. “Let’s see what you left me, Take,” he whispered as he plugged in his earbuds, pressing play on the video.

“Ukai-kun!-” 

He paused it. Hardly two seconds in and he already paused it. He missed it when Takeda called him ‘Ukai-kun’, he hadn’t even realized how much he loved hearing it until now. “Stay strong, it’s okay. It’ll be okay,” he unpaused the video and Takeda’s once-frozen features began moving again.

“I, uh…” Takeda frowned. “You’re watching this because I’m… I’ve… I’ve passed on. I wanted to tell you that there is something special for you. Check my tablet’s camera roll, and please. Don’t cry too much. I know you’re sad right now, but just know that it’s okay. Just watch the videos on my tablet.”

Then the video ended, and Ukai began to wonder. “He knew… he knew he was going to die and instead of living his life to the fullest, he prepared me for his loss. Specs, you never learned to look after yourself first. Y-you… you idiot.”

He scrolled to the very first video, mentally preparing himself for the words he was about to hear.

“Wise men say…”

_ Ah, he’s singing. When was the last time he sang for me? I don’t remember. He was always self-conscious about his voice when he sang. But, his voice is so beautiful. _ Ukai found himself humming along softly to the lyrics his Takeda was releasing. The song ended, and Ukai felt cold tears against hot skin. 

Suddenly, he was awoken by the coughs he never wanted to hear anymore. The lung-ripping, rib-shaking, tear-inducing hacks from Takeda’s mouth. “I’m sorry, Ukai-kun. I got blood on your mattress. I honestly hope you don’t see this. I hope you don’t have to. I was just an idea I have because I’ve always wanted to sing this to you. Now that this has happened… Ha! I’m talking like I’m dying-”

Ukai paused the video and ripped his earbuds out, stomping off the bed and out of the room. He couldn’t bring himself to finish that video, to step inside that room, to be reminded of him, or to just be in there, so he slept on the couch instead. The tablet remained untouched for the rest of the week.

The team wasn’t faring much better than Ukai, their performance deteriorating each practice. With no signs of improvement, Ukai sent the team on a week-long leave, allowing them all to rest and recollect their thoughts before getting back at it full-swing. 

He had no idea, however, if they were practicing on their own time. He had dropped by once in the entire week, only to find Hinata and Kageyama silently crying, sitting in the middle of the absent gym. He didn’t go back to that gym until he decided to start practice back up again.

They seemed to be healing, slowly but surely. However, that was mostly the second and third years. The first years were still in the grieving stage, barely exiting the first area of the cycle of despair. Ukai couldn’t blame them. He was trapped on a rickety bridge, one wrong step and he could either fall deeper into his sadness or take one more step to acceptance. 

Frozen he stood, terrified to let his emotions waver and take the wrong step. Even though he was scared, he kept glancing at possible planks to rely on. Each time he lifted his foot was equivalent to each time he reached for the doorknob of his bedroom. 

Until finally, he pressed his foot onto a plank, and he remained on the bridge. The door of his bedroom creaked open, and Ukai inhaled deeply, tears poking at his eyes. He refused to let them through. Another step on the bridge was when he turned the tablet on and entered the password. The third step he took that day was the worst of all.

The plank almost gave out from underneath him, a few slivers cracking and cascading into the river down below. He stayed strong, plugging in earbuds and sitting on the edge of the bed, clicking on the video he had neglected to finish. 

“-Which, I also hope won’t happen. Anyway!” Takeda’s voice cooed in his ears. The video ended a few minutes later, after some more sentimental statements from Takeda's recorded self. Ukai felt himself take another step forward as he clicked on another video.

“Ukai-kun, I love you,” Takeda’s face was smiling faintly, as if he found out the truth but couldn’t display his emotions properly. 

_ Which is probably what happened. He found out his fate and recorded this for me… _ Ukai thought with a shudder.  _ My poor Take, going through all of this alone. _

“I really do, and I’m so sorry. The reason why I dropped the cup was because I had figured out I was going to die. The doctor said I have four to six months, but that’s not enough time to convey how much I’m going to miss you. I was so scared the moment you came home that day, I was silently praying you didn’t ask what had happened. So when you didn’t ask, I was so relieved. 

“I wasn’t prepared with a lie, but I couldn’t tell you yet. Hearing this, you’re probably tearing up, aren’t you? Me knowing that I was dying but not saying anything to you. I wish I had told you when the cup broke, but my heart was in just as many pieces.

“So I’m going to keep recording videos for you. I know you love hearing my voice, so I’ll keep recording instead of writing letters every so often. So now you have plenty of videos, but I’m just so sorry that I can’t be there with you in person.”

_ Trust me when I say this, Take. I’d rather take these recordings over never knowing you in my entire life… _ he sighed as Takeda paused to cough a few times.

“I’ve made this video specifically to comfort you. It’s going to be pretty long, but it’s so I can help you sleep through the night. You helped me sleep, so now it’s my turn to help you,” Takeda breathed deeply, exhaling and looking right into Ukai’s eyes. “Go ahead and lie down, wind down and calm yourself. I’m here, right here and right now. I’ll sing to you until you fall asleep, and even after you’re asleep, I’ll keep talking to you.

“Focus on my voice, Ukai-kun,” after a moment of silence, Takeda began to hum a sweet melody. Ukai rested his head on the pillow, upturning the phone on the bed right next to him. He closed his eyes and listened as Takeda sang soft songs, both in English and Japanese. 

Before he knew it, Ukai was fast asleep, the recording still playing in the back of his mind. 

A year has passed since Takeda’s death, and Ukai was doing much better, although he still listened to the videos on a daily basis. He no longer had dreams of Takeda dying in his arms each night, they only appeared whenever Ukai visited Takeda’s grave every couple months. 

Even if those dreams plagued his mind, he still went, bringing small trinkets and single flowers. The third years graduated, and the volleyball team was prospering. They had gotten a new advisor, but he didn’t even hold a candle to Takeda.

No offense intended, of course. It was just that no one could ever measure up to Takeda’s strength and kindness no matter how hard they tried. 

The days passed like cars, and soon, weeks became months. Ukai had lost his sense of time, all he needed to know was where he needed to be at any specific point. Soon enough, though, Hinata and the other first years graduated and dispersed to college. Ukai wondered where all the time went.

Another January rolled around, and on the tenth of the month, Ukai visited the gravesite. He knelt beside the grave, running his fingers along the smooth stone. 

“How long has it been, Take?” he whispered as he checked the death date. “It’s been six years, huh? I still have so many years to go, you know?   
He chuckled, sitting on his knees and resting a small, plastic-encased chocolate cake on the stone, up near the corner. “Happy birthday, my dearest Take. I have about fifty more years to go, let’s see how many it takes for me to lose my sanity.”

He laughed bitterly, and for a split second, he thought he heard Takeda sigh. His head jerked up, looking around for his lost lover frantically. “Ah, I see. Just in my head.”

He laxed the tension in his neck, letting his head droop and look at the grass between his legs. “You know, I still have your glasses, and the bunny plush, and I still listen to your recordings everyday. It’s not the same, but I’m thankful, so very thankful for those, Specs. You have no idea how much they mean to me.”

_ I can guess, _ Takeda’s voice whispered in his ear, arms hugging him from behind and face resting in his neck. Ukai reached up, fingers brushing the intercept where his skin would have met Takeda’s if this was real and not just a hallucination. 

“I know you can guess, Specs. Dear God I miss you so much,” he responded, leaning into the non-existent embrace with a small tear in his closed eyes. “Fifty years, I promise. I promise, Specs, I promise,” he repeated the words, his meaning becoming deeper each time he whispered the saying.

_ I can wait. _

“But I don’t know if I can.”

_ I know, Ukai-kun. But it’ll all be okay. I thought I had taught you how to be patient?  _ A sweet laugh filled Ukai’s ears.

“Oh shut your trap, it’s not like you’re my mom!” Ukai playfully pushed away, then realized Takeda wasn’t actually there. He stopped, inhaling a stuttering breath and standing up. “I’ll be going now, Specs. I’ll see you in my dreams, okay?”

_ Alright, Ukai-kun. Also, what recording will you listen to today?  _ he asked, voice fading.

“The one where you sang  _ Little Talks _ . It’s one of my favorites, yet one of my least favorites as well,” his head tilted downward. “But I love it.”

_ I see. Talk later, Ukai-kun. I love you. _

“Yeah, see you later, Specs. I love you too.”

The old man on the bed slowly cranked his arm up and hit the nurse call button. A woman entered the room with a small smile on her face. “Yes? You called, Ukai-san?”

He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, thinking. He pointed to the plush that sat on the chair next to him. “Oh, you want to hold it?” He nodded. She closed her eyes for a moment, then made for the plush and handed it to Ukai. “Are you feeling alright? Do you need me to bring you anything?”

“Movie,” he managed in his weak ‘old man’ voice. 

“Which movie?” she asked.

“Titanic,” he answered. “And… sushi.”

“Alright, Ukai-san. I’ll be right back,” she gave a small bow to him and exited the room. 

Ukai took a few looks around the senior center he was living at. He had turned eighty-one just before he was taken to this senior center, and he had been here ever since. It’s been roughly five or so months since his birthday, and the autumn leaves were just beginning to fall. He gazed out the window with a tranquil expression on his face. A leaf detached from the tree, floating to the ground gracefully.

_ I did it, Specs. I’m eighty-one. Are you happy? I fulfilled what you asked of me, so I’ll be able to return to you soon. _ He thought, closing his eyes and looking at the door once it was opened again.

“Here you go, Ukai-san. I’ll put the movie in,” she said politely as she placed a tray over Ukai’s lap, setting the plate of sushi and soy sauce atop the tray. “Would you like chopsticks or a fork?”

“Chopsticks,” he mustered, and he sat up, propping himself up against his pillow. “Thank you for the food,” he clasped his shaky hands together, then broke his chopsticks apart and began to dip the sushi into the soy sauce.

The nurse smiled kindly at him, slipping the DVD into the player. She pressed play. “Is there anything else, Ukai-san?”

He shook his head. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Enjoy your meal, now,” she gave another bow and left the room again, door closing silently behind her.

Ukai shifted his gaze to the movie. It had been years since he last watched this. He couldn’t even remember the last time he saw these characters and heard this story. However, as he watched and ate, his mind kept running back to Takeda.  _ Soon, my dearest Take. Wait for me, I’m almost there. _

The moon rose as the movie came to an end. Ukai used the remote by his side to switch the television off, then slunk underneath the tray. He curled up in his blanket and brought up the uncountable year-old tablet, plugging his earbuds in. He played the ten-hour video and closed his eyes, hugging the bunny plush to his chest.

He felt Takeda’s glasses dig into his chest, but he didn’t mind. With a warm feeling in his heart, Ukai fell into a peaceful slumber. When he awoke, someone was holding his hand. 

Ukai groaned, sitting up and pressed a hand to his forehead. He opened his eyes, looking around.  _ Oh, I’m not in the senior center anymore. Does that mean? _ His gaze jerked to the hand holding his. He looked up to the face that the hand belonged to, and his heart melted.

“Ittetsu,” he breathed out the name tenderly. “Ittetsu, is it really you..?”

“Yes, Ukai-kun. Yes, yes yes and yes. It’s me. Ukai-kun, I’m so proud of you, I love you so much,” Takeda collapsed into Ukai’s grasp, hugging him tight and burying his face in his chest.

“Oh Specs, I did it, I lived until I was eighty-one,” his hands fidgeted with Takeda’s shirt. “I did it…”

“Yes you did, Ukai-kun. Now come on, wake up. I want to show you my flower garden. I planted it just for you,” Takeda stood and that was when Ukai actually studied his surroundings. He was in a neatly decorated bedroom, laying on the bed that rested in the corner. There was a window right by his feet, stretching for about three-fourths of the wall. 

A desk and chair were on the far side of the wall, and a closet adjacent to the bed. Ukai sat up, seeing a nightstand with a lamp and book on it. His eyes finally landed on Takeda again, and all the pain and loneliness he had felt for the last fifty-five years all disappeared within an instant. 

Takeda smiled at him, then leaned in close and pressed their lips together in a tender, love-enriched kiss. Ukai held his hands on Takeda’s cheeks, their foreheads bonking together as they released each other’s lips. “You have a flower garden, huh? Can’t wait to see it, Take,” he swung his legs over the side of the bed and planted his feet on the ground.

“We can have breakfast first. While you were asleep, I made pancakes,” he grinned, leaning onto Ukai yet again.

“I’m not all that hungry, so let’s just stay here for a while, okay?” He pulled Takeda onto his chest and laid back down, holding his beloved near and tight. 

“Of course, Ukai-kun. I can sing to you, if you’d like.”

“Please do.”

“Alright, Ukai-kun.” Then Takeda began to sing, and Ukai realized something. He was finally home once again.

**Author's Note:**

> I died inside while writing this, so I really hope you liked it. Don't hate me, please...
> 
> Edit: I fixed the issue with the line spacing, so hope it's easier to read now! :D


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